just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize