Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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