Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
