What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
