I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
