I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
