The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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