When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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