I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
