She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize