how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
