My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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