Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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