He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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