he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
