Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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