i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
