He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize