either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
