Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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