a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
