you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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