we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
