I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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