Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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