He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize