I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
