i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
