I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
