think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
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