so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I deserve this hangover.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
