u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He? As in you personified your dick?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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