i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
