You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
