It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
handjob tips. give me some.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
