Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Houston, we have a squirter
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
