Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
