are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
