I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
