I just made out with a guy for $7.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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