Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
