he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
