I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
