She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
