Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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