The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
