Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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