I love black thongs
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
