there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
