belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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