what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
