if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
