I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
