And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
