lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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