i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
no you cant smoke seaweed
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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