Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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