Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
