no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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