If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
