And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
