hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
