haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
