At least make sure they are 18
Why
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
